brotherly love.

Love is a difficult concept for someone with any mental disorder, and because the main examples I know of are from Autism, I am going to write about this particular one from an autistic point of view. Don't worry, there will be posts from a bipolar point of view :) Okay, first, what is love? I use 1 Corinthians 13 from the Bible because of the specific attributes it names. Love is patient, kind, not covetous, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, hates evil, loves truth. With the exception of "loves truth," none of these are easy for people. We are not patient, we can be very unkind sometimes, we often use or imply the concept of "Mine" when we don't want to share, we puff up when we do something right, we say things we shouldn't, we think of ourselves first, we get angry over the stupidest things sometimes, we hold onto grudges like they are a lifeline, and there is not enough room on this blog to describe the evil we sometimes indulge in. For someone with autism, and speaking from personal experience, these dishonorable qualities are magnified somewhere between 1000 and 1,000,000 times, depending on the day, our mood, what is going on around us, and so many other variables that normal people don't think about.

So how do we bridge the gap? First of all, to family and friends, lovers, spouses, etcetera, love us in this way. It is not always easy. My mother has told me in my adult years that there were times when I was a child that she wanted to either run away, strangle me, or both. As I look back over my childhood years, I can totally understand why she would somtimes lock herself in her room and cry or scream or call her friends to help her through. Sidebar: if there is an Autism support group in your area with other parents dealing with the same thing, FIND IT. If my mom had had that I believe she would have been so much more able to deal with me. There is a reason the Bible talks so much about community, and it is because community keeps us sane, it help us through hard times, and hopefully gives us lifelong friendships that we need. Second, keep trying to teach us what this kind of love means. Even if it takes us years, most of us will eventually get it. Don't preach at us, but be creative and show us what it means to love people in this way, a great brotherly love that can surpass a lot of wrongs. IT IS NOT EASY, but when we do get it, we will be better off forever.