Straight-up Christiany Blog Post

Because I am a Christian, every once in awhile I will post a straight up Christiany blog post. Today is one of those days. This one is on trusting God. I trust God because I believe He will catch me when no one else will. I trust Him because he has been my everything when I have nothing. I cry out to him when I am broken, when I am ecstatic, when the world is falling apart and when I am queen of the world. So I know some of you are asking "How do you trust so much in something you can't see? Your life must be perfect that you can have that level of faith(or maybe you call it naivete?)."

If you think my life is perfect, you should really think about the point of view of this blog. Life from the perspective of a woman with MENTAL DISABILITIES. This in itself indicates problems in my life. I am on Medi-Cal and just today I found out for the second time in 6 months I may very well lose my Medi-Cal for awhile. If anyone knows anything about bipolar medication, you realize this is a huge problem. For those of you who don't know, if I don't have medication I slowly descend into mood swings, depression and impulsivity. This. Is. Not. Good. My life has been filled with doctors, group homes and a behavioral modification program in Utah where the director was arrested for child abuse 4 times while I was there, and I being one of the abused. There were stupid choices, stupid things that happened to me not of my own accord, depression of the acutest kind where I cried myself to sleep every night for months because I was asking God where He was in all this. Several family deaths, the death of my best friend at the age of nine(I think), and just some overall weird situations. So WHY do I trust God!?

I could give you a Bible-ese answer with a bunch of verses and notations but for those of you who don't believe(and even those who do) that isn't going to make one bit of difference. Simply, I believe because I don't have any other choice. I am the poster child for a sucky life, but God, the One who loves me more than anyone, the One who cares when I fall and picks me back up, the One who put up with all of my weird obsessions as a child and all of my problems and all of the "Stupid Tax" that I paid over the years and all of the swear words that have come from my mouth and all of the depression and tears and heartache and screaming at Him because He was evil and my life sucks, THAT GOD STILL LOVES ME. If something bad happened in my life or even in the world(because I know people that ask about things like Katrina or 9/11) I know there is something to learn and do better from it. It is not condemnation on the world as some would lead you to believe. There is a lesson everywhere. Things have happened in my life, good and horrible, that turned into blessings that can only be explained by the One I call God. Whether you call it God, some form of higher power, spirit, or some other name, if something good or bad has happened to you that you can't explain and it ended up blessing you more than you thought it possibly could, that is God's love. Romans 8:38-39 tells us that there is nothing that can separate us from the love of the God of the universe. NOTHING and UNIVERSE are some very powerful, huge, big big big words that mean a lot if you really take the time to think about them. So here's my challenge to you. Whatever your circumstances in life, pick up a Bible somewhere or even steal one from a friend or family member because someone you know should have one. Then find that verse, Romans 8:38-39. Read it once or twice, then sit there for ten minutes and let your mind contemplate it, think about what has happened in your life and in the world around you, about what God can teach you and others through both your life and major world events, and see what happens when you let yourself start to believe in the love of the One who gave His Son for you. God bless your day :)