Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Self control and the "Stupid Tax"

Disclaimer: the "Stupid Tax" concept is borrowed from Mr. Dave Ramsey, it does not belong to me. Also again this may not apply to everyone with mental disabilities.

Self-control is one of the hardest things for a person with mental disabilities to learn. Because the wiring in our brains is messed up(see the picture below of Temple Grandin's brain [care of 60 Minutes]), self control doesn't always work right. We are loud, impulsive, and tend to make stupid choices that we may or may not regret later. We spend money we shouldn't, eat things that make us sick because "they taste good," and make other lame choices that affect us and sometimes others. So how do you as our guardian help us to understand the concept of self-control?

Dave Ramsey has this concept he likes to call the "Stupid Tax." Because Mr. Ramsey is a financial guru(I'm serious, look him up), this concept applies to money. But I believe it can be applied to any stupid choice. So here's how it works. Any time your child makes a choice that classifies under "stupid," there must be some sort of "tax," whether it is a long talk or the removal of a favorite item from their possession. Now I am NOT saying your child is stupid, in fact most kids with mental disabilities are very smart. I myself have a 147 IQ, but that doesn't mean I have not made stupid choices. Trust me, a LOT of my choices in life classify as stupid. But that doesn't make me stupid. However, lack of correction creates a stupid child. If you don't take the time to gently rebuke your child when they make a bad choice then you are enabling them to do it again. This createa a problem in children with disabilities because we are smart. We can figure out where we won't be rebuked and we will do it over and over, thus creating stupidity. When I was younger(and I am not proud of this), I figured out that by removing small amount of money at a time from my mother's wallet she would never notice. She didn't until I got cocky and started taking more. Then I paid a LARGE "Stupid Tax" because she found out. I ended up washing cars to pay her back over $300 because of my lack of self-control. The problem is, if we see we can get away with something we will push boundaries until we get caught. This isn't good and needs to be nipped in the bud early. If it isn't your child and possibly others could pay a big price for it.

So gently rebuke your children when they do something stupid and with a lack of self control. They may be mad at you then but it will make them better people later.

(In the picture, the neat and clean colored thing is a brain wire in a normal person, or NT. The one the hand is pointing to is Temple Grandin's brain wire, and is similar to all people with autism. Picture c/o 60 Minutes copyright 2011.)

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