Patience...the touchy topic.

Patience. This is a word that is used most often in my household in some form or concept. "Hold on a minute!" "Be patient!" "Can't you just wait!?" So why is it that it is so hard for someone with autism, Bipolar Disorder, or ADHD to wait? Simple. For 98% of us, patience is not a concept that we understand. We were not hardwired with the capability of being patient. Especially if ADHD is one of the disorders we have, learning to be patient is extremeley difficult because it requires learning something which we have no concept of what it is other than the knowledge in our heads that it is a concept. What this means is that we know in our minds what patience is, but we have no idea how to implement it because somewhere between knowledge and implementation there are wires crossed and messed up. So, if you tell me to have patience I know what you're talking about, I just don't know how to be patient. So how do you teach your children to be patient? Sadly this is not a situation where you can just throw the Bible at them. This increases knowledge, not the ability to implement. You can increase the knowledge all you want but if you don't increase the ability to implement YOU GET NOWHERE. First, you yourself must be patient. If my mother has told me a hundred times to wash my dishes but at any point she starts to nag, raise her voice, or any combination of the two, I shut off. This is something BIG that parents, friends, teachers, and random strangers walking down the street need to learn. If your voice, when instructing me(your disabled child) to do something(and it doesn't matter if you've said it once or a million times), varies in the slightest from "I am totally calm, cool and collected," I WILL pick up on it and if it ventures into the nagging or voice raising territory, I will SHUT DOWN and you might as well do the task yourself because I won't hear you. Either that or I will start yelling at you. You as the other must have patience, because if you don't I can promise you NO disabled child will ever learn. Second, be creative. Come up with creative ways to integrate knowledge and implementation together. This is also important, that we be able to connect the two because then we more fully understand it. Come up with a lesson, find a way to tie in a walk in the park, or a favorite game. Just know that whatever you do you will initially be met with resistance. Eventually it should get better if you are persistent and calm. Use everyday things, too. If your child demands something RIGHT NOW, explain to them why not right now and offer an alternative. If there is no alternative, you will be left with a screaming child and no patience. So I guess the lesson here is that you must have patience in order to teach me patience because I promise you it is easier for you to learn than me. God bless your day :)