Practical Post: "AAAAHHHH, I CAN'T FIND IT!!!"

"AHHHHH, I CAN'T FIND IT!!" I am sure if you live with someone with a mental disability, these words have been uttered in your household at some point. When I can't find something in 2 minutes, the world turns upside down and all common sense and short-term memory goes out the window. I start tearing my room (and sometimes other rooms) apart, screaming, cussing, and if I get mad enough and I keep not finding *insert item here*, I sit down in the middle of the room and just cry (keep in mind that I am a twenty-three year old woman and I still do this, a testament to the fact that this is a lifelong thing). Sound familiar? If it does, I am going to give you some advice that has worked for my family and I and has ALWAYS in some form or another found *insert item here*. For this exercise we shall use keys, because I lose my keys at LEAST 4 times a week.You hear the all-too-familiar scream of "I CAN'T FIND IT!" You roll your eyes and think "Here we go again." You run into the room and realize it looks like a tornado hit it. So the first thing to do is help your child retrace his/her steps. Make it a game! Have your child pretend they are Sherlock Holmes or Nancy Drew, then explain that they have to solve the case to find their item. This would also be a great time to introduce who Sherlock Holmes and Nancy Drew are! Reading is a great way to improve communication, and even if your child can't communicate hearing the sound of your voice makes them more inclined to try(at least in my own experience).Anyway, this should work. If it doesn't, you may need to step in. If you step in, and correct me if I am wrong, said item will be found in the next minute to minute point five. If it isn't then I honestly do not know what to say because my lost items have always been found even if it got to that step. If you still can't find the item, be creative in emphasizing to your child/adult that you will still hunt for it but that it is going to take awhile. If you can keep them calm, all will be well, and you know best how to keep your child calm, I can't tell you that :)May you find all your lost items, and may God bless your day!Lauren.

Quote from me.

"Don't be the person who does nothing for fear of doing something."

The Three-Letter Word: J-O-B.

Okay, so your child with autism, Bipolar 1 or 2, ADHD, what have you, becomes of age where you need a break. Translated to: Your child needs a job. Now, if your child is unable to work because their condition is too severe, then this does not apply, but if you have a high-functioning child with Asperger's, BP1/2 or that sort of thing, then eventually they need skills to get a job. For people who are not very independent and don't like making decisions, state career help is usually available. Disclaimer: I am still in the process of researching mental health laws and help and such for countries NOT the United States, where I am, and it is taking me longer than usual. Sometime soon I will be posting a country-specific post for my foreign readers. If your child is like me, however, they wouldn't accept help from the state because honestly US-based state career programs like the Department of Rehabilitation(which I have worked with multiple times) kind of choose what they think you'll be good at and don't really put your passions into account.You need to work in your strengths. Marcus Buckingham (watch all video sessions, there's six) says that as you grow older you do not become stronger in your weaknesses. This is key because if you don't choose an ultimate career path that you love, ESPECIALLY if you have mental disabilities, you will hate your life and for those that have depressive or even suicidal tendencies this WILL make it worse. Case in point, I worked at Walmart for a week and a half during Christmas rush before having a mental breakdown and quitting on the spot. I HATED it and I knew it was bad when I got the job because I could feel I had no passion for it.Now, I am not saying that your children have license to mooch off you while they are pursuing their dreams. Dreams are good but as I have been told many times, a job can be good too. Case in point, I have been told by many people I have a talent for writing. So, I go on every website I can find that lists writing positions and I apply for everything I could even remotely be qualified for. The thing is, if they like you, it may not matter that you don't have the specific degree or major. Yet again, please do NOT let your child apply for a job that they are clearly not qualified for. The right job is one that they are mostly or fully qualified for that does not cause undue mental harm. That is the only qualification a part-time job needs because there is a time where even the disabled child needs to become an adult. I learned this over Christmas at 23 when I realized I wasn't going to start school right away.So what is the moral here? Teach your child to be independent with a job, but do not send them to a job that will cause them mental harm because "It's a job." That is a LAME reason to have a job, even if you are not disabled. If you are disabled, it could lead to ugly things you don't want to deal with as a parent. And above all BE PATIENT, because the right job may not come along right away.God bless, and Happy New Year :)